"One Big Beautiful Bill" - The Ultimate Collection
NOW AVAILABLE ON ALL PLATFORMS! (Terms and conditions apply)
After years of chart-topping controversies and platinum-selling promises, The MAGA's are back with their most ambitious album yet: "One Big Beautiful Bill" - a sprawling, 940-page double album featuring all their greatest hits, B-sides, and never-before-heard deep cuts!
🎶 TRACK LISTING 🎶
Side A: Tax Cut Classics
- "Make Permanent My Love (Tax Cuts Forever)" - Their signature ballad about eternal devotion to the wealthy
- "SALT of the Earth (Deduction Blues)" - A soulful number about raising the state and local tax cap to $40,000 (but only for people making under $500K, sorry high earners!)
- "Depreciate Me Baby (100% Right Now)" - An uptempo business anthem about immediate equipment write-offs
- "Section 179 (Double Down)" - The small business crowd-pleaser, now with TWICE the expensing limits!
Side B: The Social Safety Net Destruction Symphony 5. "Medicaid Blues (Work for Your Health)" - A haunting 80-hour-per-month work requirement melody 6. "SNAP Judgment" - Their controversial hit about "strengthening" food assistance (by cutting $295 billion) 7. "Rural Hospital Dirge" - A surprisingly melancholy track (until they doubled the funding to get Murkowski's vote)
Side C: Fossil Fuel Fire 8. "Drill Baby Drill (Everywhere Mix)" - The environmental rollback anthem with added fracking beats 9. "Clean Energy? Clean House!" - Their anti-renewable energy manifesto 10. "Boundary Waters Breakdown" - Mining permissions set to a heavy industrial rhythm
Side D: Cultural War Favorites 11. "Defund the Planning (Parenthood Remix)" - A politically charged number 12. "Gender-Affirming? Not on My Medicaid" - Their most divisive track yet 13. "Courts Can't Touch This (Contempt Limitation Rap)" - Surprising hip-hop collaboration
🔥 BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE! 🔥
LIMITED TIME BONUS TRACKS!
(Available only through 2028 - Act Fast!)
🎵 "No Tax on Tips (Service Industry Serenade)" - Finally, recognition for hardworking waitstaff and bartenders! Making under $150K? This one's for YOU!
🎵 "Overtime Paradise (Work More, Pay Less)" - That extra time and a half just got sweeter with NO FEDERAL TAXES on overtime pay!
🎵 "Senior Citizen Discount (Age 65+ Bonus Track)" - An additional $6,000 deduction for our beloved seniors! (Income restrictions apply)
🎵 "American Auto Anthem (Car Loan Interest Blues)" - Deduct up to $10,000 in auto loan interest, but ONLY for cars assembled in the USA! 🇺🇸
🎵 "Child Tax Credit Crescendo" - Boosted to $2,200 and permanent! More money for families!
🎵 "Trump Accounts for Tots" - Every child gets a $1,000 federal savings account! It's like a trust fund, but from the government!
📞 CALL NOW! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY! 📞
This exclusive offer won't last forever! Many of these chart-toppers are LIMITED TIME ONLY through 2028! After that, some of your favorite tracks might disappear from the playlist!
What You Get:
✅ Permanent tax cuts for corporations and the wealthy
✅ Temporary tax breaks for working families (while supplies last!)
✅ $3.3 TRILLION added to the national debt (free of charge!)
✅ 11.8 million people losing health insurance (bonus track!)
✅ Environmental regulations sold separately (and discontinued)
What It Costs:
- $930 billion in Medicaid cuts
- $295 billion in SNAP cuts
- Your children's climate future
- America's technological competitiveness
- The "polluter pays" principle
🌟 CRITIC REVIEWS 🌟
"It's got everything - tax cuts for the rich, crumbs for the poor, and environmental destruction for everyone!" - Wall Street Weekly
"The deficit impact is HUGE - just like their promises!" - Fiscal Times
"I haven't seen this much backwards thinking since we tried to bring back the horse and buggy!" - Innovation Today
"China called - they wanted to thank us for ceding the clean energy market to them." - Global Competition Review
⚠️ IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ⚠️
Side effects may include: increased inequality, environmental degradation, infrastructure decay, loss of global competitiveness, massive deficits, and the strange sensation that corporate profits matter more than your actual life. Past performance does not guarantee future results. The MAGA's are not responsible for any buyer's remorse, economic collapse, or climate disasters that may result from this album. Individual results may vary based on income level, with best results guaranteed for those making over $400,000 annually.
🎵 The MAGA's - "One Big Beautiful Bill" 🎵
Available now wherever conservative policy is sold
Batteries not included. Some assembly required. Taxpayers pay shipping and handling.
ORDER NOW! This offer expires when the next election cycle begins!
P.S. - Album comes with a free bonus poster of a bald eagle crying single golden tears while standing on a pile of coal.